We've all done it. Come home from a crummy workday and started slamming dishes around in the kitchen, screaming at our mate, or worse, the kids. Then we feel guilty. It isn't our family's fault that the boss is a jerk and the person in the next cubicle bathes in cologne. So how do we avoid taking out all our frustrations on those we love when we come home from work? The answers to that question are as many as there are people.
Some people take the long way home, and listen to relaxing music in the car on their way home. I like to sing along at the top of my lungs. I should probably apologize to all the people I've unwittingly tortured at traffic lights. American Idol is not for me, to say the least.
Some people feel better scheduling down time. Take a thirty-minute break when you get home to read a magazine, shower, drop your briefcase or apron on the floor and lay on the couch. Light some incense or a scented candle to help you relax a bit. Do any quiet activity that requires little thought, and just breathe. We all need time to be Humans Being, instead of Humans Doing. We see on the evening news very often that another study has come out, saying that stress is deadly. That many studies can't be that far wrong.
Call a friend or a relative, and just catch up. Human connections are natural, integral parts of who we are as people. Humans have always lived in some type of group or unit, from the earliest days. We aren't meant to live alone.
Do you own a pet? Well, pet the poor creature! Petting animals is known to help relax us and reduce blood pressure. Sit down in your favorite chair and cuddle with the cat instead of kicking it. You'll both feel happier.
Go for a walk. Exercise has been shown to help relieve stress and reduce blood pressure. The sunlight is said to ward off depression, too. Even if you still get depressed, you won't have rickets. Just remember the sunscreen. No one wants skin cancer.
Squeeze in time to play. Take the kids out in the yard and play tag. Teach them a game you played as a child, then let them teach you a game. You might be surprised how much fun you can have.
Watch something funny. Everyone knows that a good laugh is a fabulous stress buster. No one can laugh and still stay in a bad mood.
Ask your kids or your mate to tell you about their day, and then give them your undivided attention while they speak. If you are concentrating on them, you can't think about how bad your own day was.
Write about it in a journal. Journals are tools sometimes used by counselors and therapists to help patients get to the root of their issues. They are like diaries without locks or younger siblings. This can be a very relaxing exercise, because we don't have to censor what we say in order to avoid offending anyone. Feel like dropping six F-bombs in one sentence? Put them in your journal.
Dance. Pretend nobody's watching and just dance. This is part of the exercise theory, but I've done it many times. Put some music on, whatever makes you want to dance, turn it up, and just let go. Many children love to dance; I know mine do. We all dance together sometimes, making up our own steps as we go. Don't be afraid to look silly. Children don't judge us by the standards we use to judge ourselves. While you're having fun, you're getting in shape, too.
A place for everything and everything in its place. That's what Mom always said, and in this case, she was right. When you leave the office, put your briefcase in the trunk. Leave it in the trunk. Don't bring work home from the office. Period. Your work should be done at work, and home things should be done at home. This will help you compartmentalize everything easier. If you don't bring home the work, it can't guilt you into getting it done faster.
If you come home from work after your mate, ask them beforehand to prep for dinner. Decide what you want the evening before, and have the meat ready to go. Shred the leftover chicken and put it back in the refrigerator, or thaw the hamburger in the fridge overnight. When your partner comes home, they can cut up the vegetables, and put them in salted water, or rinse them and put them in the fridge; whatever is needed. Then when you get home, you can put the meal together, and have a nice family dinner. Your mate is not a mind reader. They can't help you if they aren't aware of what you need or want. If you state your intentions and needs clearly, you should have no problem getting them to help you.
