Discovering your Ceremony
When a couple sits down to put together their wedding ceremony, it suddenly appears to be much more difficult than they first supposed. Besides the daunting task of choosing the words that say how you feel, words that you will then have to say before everyone, there is also the problem of knowing the correct order: when does who do what, what is said, and who is supposed to say it? For anyone who doubts the difficulties involved in this process, ask yourself the following question: having seen weddings performed (in real life, on TV, and in movies), and therefore knowing what happens in a ceremony, can you sit down and write a simple wedding ceremony? Try it ...
Not so easy, is it?
That is my purpose in writing this book: to help you put together the entire ceremony. We will start with the basic outline of a typical ceremony. Remember, this is only meant to be a guide; many things can be changed around, removed, replaced, etc. There are also full ceremonies included at the end of this book to give you an idea of how all these different elements can be fitted together. (Note: all specifically religious examples are marked with an R.)
General Ceremony Outline
I) The Convocation
- A) Opening words spoken to welcome guests, explaining the reason for gathering and their role as witnesses
- B) Description of the reason for gathering
- C) Explanation of roles
- Groom and Bride as participants
- Family and guests as witnesses
II) The Invocation (optional)
- A) Call upon higher power
- B) May come before the Opening Words
- C) Charge to the Couple
III) Readings or Prayers (optional)
- A) Can be read by Officiant, family members, friends
- B) Can be added in anywhere during the ceremony
- C) Reflection on meaning of love and marriage
- Religious passage
- Poem
- Blessing
IV) The Declaration of Intent (The “I do’s”)
- A) Acknowledgment that vows are understood
- B) Acknowledgment that vows are made of one’s own free will
V) The Address
- A) Can be combined with the Convocation and/or Invocation (see samples)
- B) Can be a sermon, homily, or personal reflection on the meaning of marriage
VI) The Vows
- A) Spoken promise of intentions in marriage
- B) Can be combined with the Exchange of Rings
- C) Can be traditional or personal
- Traditional and personal vows can be combined
- Can be read, memorized, or repeated
VII) The Ring Exchange
- A) Can include a blessing by Officiant
- B) Can be combined with the Vows
VIII) The Pronouncement of Marriage
- A) Public proclamation of marriage
- B) Presentation as husband and wife
IX) The Kiss
- A) Sealing of vows
- B) Physical claim on each other
X) The Benediction (optional)
- A) Blessing on the marriage
- B) Call for celebration
XI) Optional Elements
- A) Charge to Witnesses
- B) Parents’ Blessing
- C) Exchange of Roses
- D) Memorial
- E) Symbol of Unity
- Sand Ceremony
- Unity Candle Ceremony
- Blending of the Families
