A new woman entered our home this past Friday. She has succeeded in out-sexing the 65' rear projection TV, the xBox 360, and the Wii. She has stolen much deserved attention from the cat (named Princess, by him!), and left the dog sad and alone, marooned on the other end of the couch. I desperately need to get laid.
Who is this mystery woman?
The iPhone 3G of course!
Now, if your husband is anything like mine, every piece of new technology ever invented has come into your home, usually on the day of its release. The iPhone is no exception. Sleek and slender like I was on the day we married, its allure is unmatched, its screen smooth, unmarred and touchable.
And the features!
So far I've watched numerous pedestrian YouTube videos against my will (the screen usually gets shoved in my face) and had the visual voicemail demo'ed about 100 times. I've been directed to take a different route on the way to the emergency vet because the iPhone said so. The iPhone makes it easy to update your Facebook status and then check your email to see if anyone noticed that the status you just posted mentions your new phone! I've been forced to look at his friends' clichéd MySpace pages. When I didn't get angry at Fandango's subpar iPhone-optimized page, it was suggested that I get my head checked. How could I deny the greatness he holds in his hand and not realize that it was deserving of a PERFECT optimized page full of movies just in case he needs to find a showtime!?
He comes home every day touting the excitement of finding another iPhone user to relate to and new apps to try. They speak in tongues about things like iBeer (an application that makes your screen into a pint of beer, and when you tip it, it empties) and a useless application that makes your phone display a Light Saber on the screen, complete with sound effects. It's my lucky day, too, cause I got to hear the play-by-play of the battle!!
But the iPhone is not without its benefits. It's freed up the television so I can cram my head full of Flip That House and Mythbusters. I can read my book on the couch without hearing gunshots ring out from Grand Theft Auto on the XBOX. I get to play the Wii games that I like when I like! It also features a working telephone and SMS network so I can contact my husband at any time, since he is glued to the iPhone (you know, like when I am at the dining room table, calling him for dinner). Bonus points for keeping him too busy to buy new video games.
Apparently the iPhone is the best thing since grilled cheese, and I am forced to play second fiddle until he realizes that the iSex application lacks the proper functionality.
iPhone: 3/5 stars.
