Do you ever look back on your own fashion history with disgust? Or perhaps nostalgia? Well, while some trends tend to resurface from time to time, there are definitely some looks safely tucked away in fashion’s past that will never again see the light of day. So, if you are holding on to that one glitter glove in hopes of a resurgence of Michael’s biggest fad, you should let it pass quietly into the pages of fashion history.
Here are some other fashion disasters of the past few decades to which you should bid adieu.
Asian-collared shirts
I cannot believe how often I see a man still trying to pull off this early 90’s style. This still shirt had the round neck collar instead of the pointed one and was worn fastened by a single button. Since they were not designed to accommodate neckwear, they had a decidedly casual feel but were worn regularly with double breasted suits and jeans alike. They were even spotted paired with tuxedos! This is wear some guys are sitting there, quietly aware that these artifacts still possess a place in their closet. These will not make a resurgence in style any time soon so toss ‘em.
Coloured or Acid-washed Jeans
I took a bit of heat with this one because some famous designers have tried to reintroduce these horrific 80’s trends. Acid washed jeans made their debut when I was in high school but, thankfully, despite the plethora of teen idols sporting this painful look, most of my peers agreed it was awful and this style was largely passed over by my friends.
Coloured jeans were the predecessor to acid washed jeans. They came in a multitude of colours and, despite the apparent practicality of having jeans in any colour, they were actually so atrocious that they overpowered anything and matching nothing perfectly.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, hey, hey, hey…Goodbye!
Birkenstocks
Just because people still wear these, they are NOT fashionable. They are too clunky, too shapeless and have too many buckles. The original Birkenstocks were bad enough but, as if they were not enough, we were bombarded with different coloured knockoffs that are still manufactured en masse and worn by many today as a badge of utter stylelessness!
Bell-Bottoms and Tightly Tapered Pants
The size of the pantleg generally comes and goes from fashion but the 80’s version that followed the 70’s famous bell-bottoms just emphasized the extreme ridiculousness of one another. The Bell Bottom was ugly enough but then someone had the bright idea to turn them upside down and give them another go in the 80’s. Baggy jeans worn low on the waist (although not low-rise jeans as we know them now) were tapered by annoyed mothers to create the ultimate ice-cream effect. Some kids tapered their own with safety pins and staples, some cut the flap covering the button fly off and they were often left with frayed bottom hems.
Both of these extreme looks are banished to fashion days long gone. Phew.
If you can take away one lesson from this silly article, let it be this: never hang on to old clothing “just in case” they come back in style. Regardless if they make a comeback or not, they will always be modified from the original and you will look absurd wearing the old versions from decades ago.
