Sayigh had gone as far as having his own ideas incorporated within the educational framework of new party initiates. Saadeh painstakingly wrote all these down and pointed how they were against party ideology while he was in Tukoman. He sent those extensive writings to Lebanon. However, the culprits did not budge. It was for this reason that Saadeh decided that he has to return to Lebanon under any circumstances, since not doing so would mean the end of the party he created.
Tabit and Elias did not change their stance or behavior toward the leader. Saadeh had no other choice but to expel them from the party.
Saadeh's communication with party members from Tukoman was very slow. Moreover, his corrective writings were not being read or implemented in Lebanon. He had told me this several times. All these people would tell Saadeh is to remain in exile and to never return to Lebanon.
When I returned to Lebanon I never saw Tabit or Elias. There issue was already determined.
I must open a little window into the leader's family life during this period. As soon as we settled down in Beirut the leader started to give more care to his own family beside his bigger one, the party. Whatever his preoccupations with party matters he would find time to play with his little daughters. He would seem so playful that no one would think that his head was full of important political things or that dangerous events were happening around him. He would have Elisar sit on his knees and sing, recite a poem, or tell a story. He would then do the same with Safiyya. She used to talk in classical Arabic. That was what we had taught her to do. If I interfered with something about the story she would say that that part was not in the book. She would even bring the book to make her point.
Sometimes, when the leader saw that I was brushing their hair, he would take the chore on himself. He was so emotionally involved with the kids that I only admired him for that.
He would also create time for us. We would go together on small walks in the mountains. He used to do this anytime he saw that I was disturbed by his political undertakings.
He would talk only about nature during those walks. No politics would cross his lips unless some comrade came to him to tell him something or ask about an issue. The only time he would speak about what happened with him during the day was when we retired to bed and were preparing to sleep.
The arrest warrant for him was still in force at the time. He would sometimes spend the night at some other house. He would tell me about his intention only minutes before his departure. I would wait sleepless until his return. Upon my insistence he took me and showed me the tent that he used when he spent the night outside. This was a place where he would go to escape detention. The place was deep in nature and had no roads. It was a frightening wilderness.
When the government did not allow the SSNP from going ahead with the Balfour demonstration on November 2, 1947, the leader was harassed more and more by government agents. He started to lecture to people from his home. The lectures grew and the party rented a hall in Ras Beirut. This hall also was too small to handle the crowds that would come to listen to Saadeh. We had to put speakers outside the hall to accommodate the five hundred or so people who wanted to hear him.
Meetings were going on all day at the leader's office. . From military training to administrative issues, to lectures to radio talks all took his time. His articles in the newspapers created an atmosphere of anger toward an incapable government. He did not leave the feudal lords out of his circle of criticism. The more the party grew in power the more the government would expand its harassment methods. Moreover, the government spent a lot of money to buy newspapermen and the radio station and make them write against Saadeh and the SSNP. All this came into the open in 1949.
The party's central board members' activities were not commensurate to the leader's work. A lot had to be done during the negotiation sessions with the government. Board members were always busy with something else. At some point Saadeh put them on the spot, since everything was left on him and him alone.
There were issues that were talked about in the central board meetings that I did not know at all. All I knew was that the rift between Saadeh and the central board widened to such an extent that he dissolved the body months prior to the events of 1949.
