I made dinner for the kids and breastfed Raghida and went to bed without being able to close my eyes. The day's events were confusing my mind. At ten o'clock I heard a knock at the door. I opened it and found a heavy bodied man waiting there. He told me that he is the police chief and that he had come to tell me that I was free and could come out and into the hotel anytime I wished. He added that all he can say was to thank me for my cooperation. I thanked him too.
Several hours later SSNP leader Najib Shuwayri came to visit me. He told me that he might come tomorrow to take me and the kids to see Saadeh. . He said that he will be there at five p.m. on Saturday, June2, 1949. He came the next day in his car and took us on a city tour in order to avoid any security forces following us. At eight in the evening we reached the Qubbani house.
When we were inside I told comrade Najib that the new made was only with us for a week before all these things started. I told him that I was unsure that she could be trusted, especially since we were going to meet Saadeh. I also told him that I had seen her talking to the security forces at the hotel and that I was suspicious of her. He said it is all right. We went into the living room where my husband was talking with some of the party members. There were other comrades in the dining room looking into a big map and some other documents while talking and discussing issues. Saadeh stood to hug us one by one. He took Raghida in his lap and kissed her while she was asleep. He said he wished she was awake so that he can play with her. . He than put Safiyya and Elisar on each knee and started playing with them. I noticed that he was very tired and that tiredness was showing on his face.
He left us and went to the dining table where comrades wanted his opinions regarding some issues. All of them look tired. It was obvious that we were living in dangerous moments. At ten Saadeh asked me to remain, while he instructed comrades to take the kids and the maid to the hotel. Najib went with the kids.
We went to his room and sat on his bed talking about all the things that happened since the Jimmayzeh event. I learned how he traveled to Damascus with a crooked identity card with some friends. He told me how Husni al Za'im welcomed him during the first meeting and gave him a pistol as a gift on their second meeting. He told me how he was enthusiastic to help the SSNP revolution in Lebanon and how he later backed from his previous stance. He told me how al Za'im said to him that he could not help with the revolution in Lebanon, since he has to strengthen himself and his revolution in Damascus and that the revolution in Lebanon is the SSNP's business alone. Saadeh told me how he wrote to his comrades in Lebanon about al Za'im's aloofness regarding the situation in Lebanon and that it maws better to postpone the revolution because Syria was not going to back it up. He told me how the comrades were furious at al Za'im's treachery. He told me that after thinking a lot he decided to support the comrades since he could not leave them at this critical point and that he has to take the responsibility on his shoulders. Years later I remembered our talk when I was talking to George Abd al Masih in 1955. Abd al Masih told me that yes it was him who put Saadeh on the spot regarding the revolution in Lebanon. I asked Abd al Masih why he told Saadeh that he must keep on with the revolution in Lebanon when he [George] himself had said to me that the SSNP was not ready for the revolution. Abd al Masih shouted at me and said. There was no way back. We told we would have hundreds of people and not even seventeen showed up. He concluded by saying that what had happened had happened and that was it…
We talked until two o'clock in the morning. I asked him if he had a plan for his safety in case the revolution failed. He told me when was it that the leader thought about his own safety? He did not answer me when I insisted upon my question. He gave me a sum of 6,000 Syrian Liras [pounds] and told me that it came from a comrade living overseas for the house to be built in Duhur al Shuwayr. Outside I found comrades Isam al Mahayiri, Najib al Shuwayri, and Edil Saab sitting in the living room. I told them that they have to come up with a plan to have Saadeh out of Lebanon in case the revolution failed. They asked me if this is what Saadeh wanted. I told them that he never thinks that way, but, are we ready to loose him?
