John Bowlby was a British Psychiatrist who is still considered the Father of
Attachment Theory, which is :
"A close emotional tie (bond) between mother and baby called two-way attachment".
There can be secure and insecure attachments.
There could be a substitute attachment figure, this does not need to be the mother
or main carer.
Babies/children's emotional needs are more important than physical needs.
Children do not grow or learn well if deprived of stable attachment figures.
Once a good attachment is formed, children suffer grief due to separation.
I saw the above theories working first hand as a Nursery Nurse, where children made close attachments with staff members, some closer than with their own carers.
This proved Bowlbys' theory of children being capable of making a substitute attachment figure, for one little boy always cried and clung to me when he knew his carer was due to collect him from pre-school. He would begin crying towards the end of the session, so all members of staff knew that he was un-happy leaving with this particular person.
I remember once allowing him to sit on my lap (which meant he stopped crying) while we were at story time, so everyone could hear, and therefore enjoy the story.
As soon as the parents began to appear to collect their children he began crying again. No-matter how sensitively we talked to, and tried to console him, nothing worked, for upon seeing his carer his distress levels automatically rose.
This behavior proved Bowlbys' theory that he had an insecure attachment to her.
While his carer stood beside me I slid him off my knee, but sitting on those tiny children's chairs gave him the opportunity to place his head upon my shoulder and continue to cry.
There was embarrassment all around, until a member of staff prised him away from me and handed him to his carer. His emotional needs lay more with me than with his carer, and both, the little boy and myself suffered grief due to separation.
I left the "setting" as sad and down-hearted, as he did. I always hated to see him so upset ,
But
When his mother came to collect him, that was a "whole new ball-game", one he truly enjoyed. He could not wait to see her. At first sight of her his whole face lit-up with the biggest smile you could imagine. He could not wait to leave his seat, greet and cuddle her, the two holding hands and chatting happily as they left.
The difference was remarkable.
According to Bowlby they had formed "a close emotional tie (bond) between mother and son called two-way attachment. (Bowlby, J. 1999).
Bowlby believed that babies/children"s emotional needs were more important than physical needs. To my thinking and experience I feel that both have the same value, hence the need for the child to place his head upon my shoulder, in order to further express his anxiety at having to leave the setting with his carer.
It was good that this child made attachments to various staff members, for Bowlbys
Theory is that "if deprived of stable attachment figures, children do not grow or learn well". This theory has been proved correct to me, for I know for a fact, that this child has progressed well at school.
Of-course, not everyone will agree with John Bowlby's concepts, and there have been criticisms of his beliefs.
I hope how-ever this "writing" has expanded your mind and thoughts in order for you to consider areas, ideas, and issues you may have never considered before, with all its complexities.
Hopefully, some of this article has been a "learning curve" for you, for I have achieved many learning curves during my many years of studying: Child-care, Psychology, Counseling, and so-on. Making many discoveries about the world and myself, allowing me to develop within its structures.
I am very appreciative of the many directions and discoveries I have achieved through various educational courses, all allowing me to develop in the understanding of people, the world', and my position within it.
