A Comprehensive Guide to a Gentleman’s Wardrobe

It is never too early to start learning how to live properly; how to arrange your house, your body, your mind, your life, and (yes) your wardrobe. This is the Gallant Gentlemen's (me) guide to what every man should have in their wardrobe (sorry ladies, you'll have to sit this one out).

So the first issue to address is “why?” For example: “Why should I know what a man is supposed to have in his wardrobe?”, and “Why should I let conventions dictate what I wear? I have my own style.”, etc...

Well, the answer is quite simple: “because I'm paid to show you” (wait! That didn't come out right), er-herm... “because the way you dress says something about the way you think, act, and are, in general. By following clothing conventions you will show the world that you know what goes on around you (reading the morning paper also helps). It is also a great opportunity to impress people with how inventive you can be, transforming dress conventions from restrictions to creative opportunities.

So with the “why” out of the way, let's get down to the actual “what”. “What” as in “what should every well educated man have in his wardrobe (and no, I'm not talking about skeletons). And without any further ado, let's get to it:

1. A Suit

   Common colors for suits are navy, grey, black ... pink (the last one depends heavily on your definition of “man”). This might seem as a “no-brainer” to you, but the number of people who think suits are unimportant is shocking. Even if you wear them once or twice a year, suits are fashion staples without which no gentleman would be caught dead (or alive). The most versatile item in the gentleman's wardrobe, the suit's uses are practically unlimited. Regardless of color, they can be used for festive occasions, or for occasions calling for more somber apparel (i.e. funerals, divorces, dentist's visits, etc...). Suits can be “dressed up” or “down”, and they can (with a little creative thinking) even be worn with khakis and jeans. Suits also tend to surprisingly well with the next item on our list:

2. Black shoes and a black belt

   Fortunately, you don't have to be very good at karate to buy yourself a black, leather belt (you don't even have to know karate, though I recommend it as an extremely good workout). Black shoes, on the other hand, do require a little knowledge. There are two types of shoes: black dress shoes (which are usually slightly glossy, and black everyday shoes, which are normal black shoes. I can not stress enough the importance of the quality of the shoes. Leather is the only accepted material, and, though they may be elegant, they should always follow the current fashion trend. Though they will always cost more, I recommend that the shoes have a little sticker on them that says “made in Italy” (the shoes, not the sticker). Since Italy is the land where elegant shoes are born (and sometimes outrageously outlandish shoes), and since the quality of Italian leather goods should never be questioned (any question is punishable directly by the Vatican), this is where any gentleman's shoes should come from. The belt too.

3. Shirts

   A gentleman has a collection of fine shirts, which are usually divided into two categories: formal (dress), and casual. Formal shirts are almost always white (i.e. without tomato sauce stains, ketchup stains, lipstick stains, bar fight knife slashes, etc...). Again, though they are elegant, they ought to follow the current trend, and (of course) should fit you just right. Casual shirts are, unfortunately, a little harder to pick (especially if you're color-blind or if you have no taste whatsoever). You can really let your imagination loose with your casual shirts, but always remember two things: dress your age, and always know what other clothes you can match your shirts to, before you even buy them.

4. Ties

   There are two types of ties, solid, and the diagonal cut. There is only one rule to remember when choosing your tie: always match your tie to all of the clothes you are going to wear, and try to steer away from to flamboyant a tie - i.e. ties with patterns like: cartoon Christmas trees and Father Christmases, ties with the logos of rock bands, light-up ties (yes, they do exist), etc... There are as many policies on what ties go with what shirts and pants, as there are fish in the sea (not that fishes care about ties all that much), so try to develop a personal style in matching ties to the rest of your clothes. There are rules, however. For example, never wear a patterned tie with a patterned shirt (you can wear it with a plain shirt and patterned pants though), and never tuck your tie into your pants (this applies even if the pants are patterned). There are many kinds of tie knots; the basics being the Windsor (and half Windsor) knot, the Pratt knot, and the Four in Hand knot. Investigate other knots as well, and find the ones that work best with your shirts.

5. A blazer; blue, grey, navy, etc....

   This warm little piece is quite useful all year, and the best thing is that it goes with almost all other clothing combinations. A blazer can easily be replaced in the gentleman's wardrobe by a sport coat. Though loud patterns are not encouraged, tartan or tweed blazers and sport coats are permissible (though only applicable in autumn and winter).

6. Pants

    (Unless you plan to end up arrested by the police for walking around without your “better, lower half”.)What can one say about pants? They are so necessary that their absence from any gentleman's wardrobe is a sign of mental illness. Again, this article of clothing comes in two flavors: formal, and casual. Formal pants can be black, navy, or grey. Casual pants can also have the same colors, except, you have a larger variety of materials to choose from. Whether as formal pants are mainly made from silk or fine cotton (or very fine wool), casual pants can be made from a variety of materials and in various methods: cotton (not so fine as formal pants), wool, corduroy, kaki, denim, leather (refined leather, not fetish/bondage leather, OK?), silk, (crocodile skin, hey, to each his own. Crikey!), etc... . The only thing to remember when wearing pants (which is, hopefully most of the time) is that pants should always match your coat, and should contrast your shirt (but not too harshly).

7. Socks, handkerchiefs, tie pins, etc... .

    The last item on the list “is” actually quite a lot of them. These are the forgotten ones, the mislaid, the underused, and the under-appreciated. First are socks (solitary animals which rarely travel in pairs, and then never in similar pairs. They are often hard to find, as they possess chameleonic powers). A gentleman's socks are surprisingly important. They should usually match either the shoes, or the pants, but never the coat or the shirt. Got that? Don't worry; it's easier than it sounds. Socks vary according to season, coming into flower during the colder months, and then wilting during the summer months when the weather is too hot for them to survive. Formal ones should be of very fine cotton or silk (if you can afford it, that is). Casual ones range anywhere from wool, to common cotton. Socks are simple just as long as you remember not to overdo the whole “pattern” thing when choosing them. And no, musical socks are neither “haute couture” nor are they elegant (and stay away from tube socks which lose their shape after only a few wears). Tie pins are useful only as ornaments. Besides eliminating the need to tuck your tie in your pants (a big “no no”, as I've said), they add a little flair to any tie/shirt combination. They can be from brass, stainless steel, silver, gold, and (if you're really rich) from platinum set with microscopic diamonds. Many people don't even know that it's good manners to carry a handkerchief with you at all times. Formal ones should lightly contrast your coat (and be made from silk, only), and should be worn in the upper right coat pocket in the shape of a triangle, casual ones can be of any absorbent material, and can be worn on the inside of your pants' pockets. Handkerchiefs are very useful for cleaning spills, wiping eyes, wiping noses, etc.... They can also be used to play “smack the other guy with the wet towel”, though this depends heavily on the size of said handkerchiefs.

So here you have it, a (relatively) short list of most of the things that a true gentleman has tucked away in his wardrobe. The author hopes that this list helps even those people who are not gentlemen, and who have no clue as to how to dress.