Why is it so difficult to get a girl in a bar?
It’s about time someone came clean about this one. The universal law known (or thought to be known) to all women is that men in bars are sleazes. Sorry, I don’t make the rules, I only inform you of them.
In this scenario, generally there are four types of men: the over-confident-types, who must “do this sort of thing all the time;” the come-up-and-dance-with-you-on-the-dance-floor-types, who are “the ultimate sleazes;” the under-confident-but-no-less-creepy-types, who are either “really fake” or “have never spoken to a woman before;” and the little-boy-with-back-up, whose “mates ogle at you just as much as he does and make you feel like a porno chick!”
Whilst we know not all men would fall into these categories, we cannot be too careful. Our prudent nature is the result of, or fear of, being screwed over – it happens to everyone at least once.
Fear not, however, as this doesn’t deter the fairer sex from bars – there are times when we go in the hope of getting the exact same thing that you want. It simply means that, with our knowledge of the universal law, we are implored the responsibility to make the first move.
The lesson: NEVER approach her.
You need to let her desires for you intensify. If she looks at you, glance back at her every-so-often, but not for too long. Go to the bar alone and take your time in case she decides to follow. If she’s at the bar, walk right up beside her when you order but don’t talk to her unless she talks to you first. It’s all about being mysterious. If she approaches you, lower your cover a little but don’t drop it completely. Always be yourself but never reveal all of yourself on the first night.
My girlfriend is completely opposed to the idea of a threesome, how can I persuade her to give it a go?
There’s not much use in trying to convince someone who is opposed to threesomes on the grounds of religious beliefs. So if this is the case, quit while you’re ahead.
For many however, the act of a threesome is not worries a woman, it’s the thought that she is not good enough to please you. This is a sensitive issue for some women so you need to tread carefully, even if you just mention the idea.
When the timing is right – i.e. when she is feeling 100% comfortable – start the conversation by basing it around her. Make her feel respected and let her know that her feelings are the forefront of your priorities.
Always be ready for the “Why?” Your reply must involve an explanation involving her – not you, such as: “You’re of such unbelievable beauty, I think it would be so sensual and sexy to see two sets of hands run over your body.” Just appropriate it to sound a bit more believable so she knows this response is your own and not from some dating columnist.
Most importantly, if she decides to go through with it, tell her she can back out at any time and that you love her no matter what.
The lesson: If a fantasy involves a supporting cast member, the couple need to know that each partner is doing it with the other, not for the other.
Is there a particular type of cologne women find most appealing?
The one-spray-per-night kind. Seriously guys, you’re digging your own grave by suffocating her with Calvin Klein. It doesn’t impress us that you’re into higher brands of perfume – sorry, cologne – than we are. All we ask is that you shower regularly and use deodorant. And maybe a little hair gel.
The lesson: Keep it simple honey.
I’ve always wanted to try sex outdoors, but my girlfriend isn’t that adventurous. Any tips?
Our fantasies all begin as a single thought. These thoughts develop into sexual arousal either through physical touch or mental stimulation and other sensory stimuli.
For some Godforsaken reason, women are not programmed with an on switch when it comes to sex and all things sexual. It takes time for us to warm up and that’s why most of the time simple “rub here” methods don’t work with us. Blasphemy you say? While sex may seem as straightforward as riding a bike, women are much more creative than you think – you’d be surprised at how many fantasies we have of our own.
