Miss Bimbo has arrived to save the day for girls around the world. Her arrival on the scene should not be taken lightly, for she is a force to be reckoned with. I dare parents to stop her liberating message from spreading.
After years of study for my college degrees and years advancing in my career trying to be the super career woman, I'm ready for Miss Bimbo to be my role model. It's a new online video game that teaches basic survival skills for women. It's free, and it's about to be all the rage for young girls. The main character, Miss Bimbo has large breasts, a wafer thin body, a full head of blond trusses, and gorgeous seductive eyes. Her goals, and consequently the player's goals, are to find a sugar daddy, get breast implants, shop, bronze in a tanning booth, take medications, and shop. Her life sounds perfect. What was I thinking trying to be an independent career woman?
Miss Bimbo is muffling the demented cries of the women's movement and those fanatical feminists who burned their bras. We don't want crazy, angry women like that anymore. We want stable and predictable princesses like Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, Anna Nicole and, oh, dare I say it, Brittany Spears. Miss Bimbo fills the vacuum created by the likes of Virginia Woolf. The new world order is about a girl's right to be pampered and luxuriated upon.
She has already flitted onto the social scene in France and Britain, those cultures having much more refined tastes, but she's arriving soon in the United States. I must admit I'm all aquiver with anticipation. Men are cowering in secreted hiding places holding onto their bank accounts; a mere wallet is not enough to satiate Miss Bimbo. She will finally instill the Darwinist survival skills women lacked, holding out for the guy who truly knows how to take care of a woman, the sugar daddy. Hugh Hefner, you might want to lock the doors.
And so Miss Bimbo bring it on. Free me from my oppressive chains of being independent, the 60 hour work weeks, the housecleaning, the grocery shopping, paying the bills, cooking meals, and more. Free me.
