I wrote the following essay 5 years ago. I placed it on a floppy disk and set it underneath the computer, where it has remained to this day. This is one of several humorous essays I wrote in my free time. When I discovered this the other day, it was too funny to pass up. This essay is in no way based on scientific fact or data, but it makes sense when you think about it.
Pain. It is something we experience virtually every day. How do we respond to it? Why does it feel the way it does? What is our reasoning behind our responses to it? I will attempt to answer these questions in the following thesis.
When you fall and scrape your hand, it hurts, right? When you were three, did it hurt more than when you were 19? It may have felt like it did, but in reality, no! You see, pain is measured on a scale. This scale ranges from 0.5 (flea bite) to 20 (death). The scale combines actual damage to body with the pain measurement. This reads out on the scale when the same injury is applied to the scales meter.
Before we begin to measure actual pain, we must also look at the impact to response ratio (ITRR). For example, a four-year-old falls and scrapes his hand on concrete. The time it takes him to respond to this impact is astonishingly quick. Only one second! This pain measurement on the scale incorporates the impact to response ratio. For this injury, the ratio is about 35:1. The first number represents the pressure (PSI) of the impact. The second number represents the impact to response time (ITR), which is measured in seconds. For a larger person, the ITRR would probably be 400:400. (First number representing PSI, second number representing ITR time). The ITRR is what the pain scale relies on the greatest. Now, we can begin to fully understand pain.
When the four-year-old fell, the pain reading for his injury was 2 (damage to body: 1 and ITRR: 35:1). The reason he responded to this so quickly is because he is young and the impact was much harder for his small body. An ITRR of less than 35:1 is rated 2 or lower. An ITRR of 1.5:0.35 is rated a 5, and so on*. When the second number is lower and the first number higher, it usually means a greater pain being inflicted, thus the actual reading on the scale is higher. A ratio of 1.5:0.35 is probably a burn. Think about this. The PSI of a soft touch is very low, and the ITR time for a burn is extremely fast for anyone. An ITRR of 0.5:90 is rated a 0.5. This is probably a soft pin prick.
There are exceptions. When an ITRR is 0.001:unl it means the person never responded to the stimulus. Unl stands for unlimited. Another exception is that the ITRR may be 200:3 (probably a minor bike accident) but the damage may be freak-such as massive bleeding for this minor fall. In such cases, an M will be listed next to the pain readout (for this case, probably a 3.5) indicating that massive damage was associated with the accident. When a pain is becoming increasingly damaging or the PSI is increasing over a short period of time, the ITRR will be strange-probably looking something like 120*200*300*400*500:6*4*1*0.2*0.0001. This is respective chronological order of increasing PSI and reaction time. If damage is increasing in any case, a "DI" will follow the readout. The actual pain reading will look like 4incDI. The 4 being the first pain received, the "inc" standing for increasing pain, and the DI standing for Damage Increasing. One of these may not be seen all the time and do not necessarily reflect onto one another. If the impact is massive and the response/realization almost unl (990-999) it probably means severe head trauma. The actual pain readout will almost always list a T after the pain reading which will be moderate to medium high pain (10-15). Because the patient did not actually feel and respond to this awful pain, it is expressed lower than if the person had felt it and responded. Why this happens is unknown.
The actual pain always stays the same for the same injury and will not change over time. The only thing that changes over the years is our perception and/or tolerance of the pain. This scale only applies to physical pain. It has not been found to relate to any psychological condition or damage. Studies are underway into if this connects to physiological pain and if it is 100% accurate for injuries.
I mentioned in the last paragraph that the only thing that changes over time is out tolerance or perception of the pain. When faced with this statement, one has a tendency to wonder, Is there anything else that changes? The answer to this common and quite logical question is, in fact, yes. The only other thing that has been found to change is the PSI of the impact. This change is relative to the person and changes with their weight. The four-year-old has a smaller mass and weight, so the impact of his fall will change over the years as he gains weight. The four-year-old weighed 45 pounds. He was tested again on the same injury when he was 19. He had gained weight, and weighed 170 pounds. It is quite obvious that with any weight change of the person, the impact would be different. The scale takes this change into account in its final calculating process. It also knows that, logically, when a person is bigger, they will perceive the pain differently.
Why do people react differently with the same pain? There is a logical answer for this question also. When a person is smaller, they are usually more fragile and not used to anything out of the ordinary. Thus, when a sharp pressure is exerted onto them, they respond more quickly and loudly. It is instinct of everything to cry out when it is in danger to protect its life. A baby will cry out much more to everything because they do not necessarily comprehend what is happening as we do. A baby is somewhat helpless, too. They rely on people around them to protect them from the unknown dangers that seem common to us. They also do not have 15 years of experience of life under their belt either. When dealing with anybody, we must realize these facts to get a better understanding on their view of the pain.
The scale for pain is as follows:
- 0.5-3 (Very Low-scrape)
- 3-6 (Low-burn)
- 7-10 (Moderate-bike accident)
- 11-16 (High-bad car accident)
- 17-20 (Critical-severe bodily trauma)
