For the past three semesters of studying architecture, I still cannot fully define what architecture really means. Maybe it's not really meant to be defined; and defining it will lose its abstract beauty. Every time a plate is assigned, I always thought that this exercise will give me the exact formula to what should be done in a design process. But every time a problem comes up, it leads me to certain points I've never come across. There are times I am afraid to do something new, just to realize that I should have followed my instincts. There are times that I thought this is the ultimate formula to the perfect design, realizing that architecture is not that easy to contain.
I am a very slow worker. I'm not like others that can come up with sketches at an instant. I prefer to research more about the design problem at hand - to read more about it. Reading is the fuel of my little hands to draw. Through reading anything about the subject, I find inspiration and meaning. I also find the purpose and motivation not to sleep for the next few days - which is all worth it. I do not want to draw without getting a good grasp about the subject. Sorry, I prefer understanding before obeying. I need to find a reason why, and if I did, I will give my whole self into it. There will not be a good plan without ample information. So, give me time to read…
I can be obsessive compulsive when it comes to doing my plates. I prefer listing all the things that I need to do before starting on. My list should be an organized tabulation of tasks to do with a certain time schedule to follow. I improve on that list everyday - adding and cancelling things to do. Sometimes, I focus so much on the plan that I don't get things done anymore. Design is so unpredictable that I end up going through zigzags, dead ends, typically going nowhere. I end up cramming and a haphazardly done plate. There's an endless cornucopia of knowledge that I so wanted to discover every time a plate comes up, that's why I get frustrated when I can't get it all. There are times that I do, and everything follows to plan - and those are the times that I succeed. I develop my own technique in designing. Every assignment is a chance to put myself on the next level.
Theories are not enough. I realized that having an excellent idea is not enough if I don't have the skills to express it. So nothing beats hard work. There is no other way but to put myself into it. Working out the design is the reality that must be achieved. Experience has taught me how to be honest with myself in designing. If something is wrong, I should be strong enough to do it again. But it is something that I have to do for myself. Nothing beats devotion to the design at hand everyday…
