For every winning innovation in furniture design, there are dozens of designs gone bad. But failure isn't always absolute, and some design mistakes are every bit as spectacular as the successes.
As technology crests and information becomes readily available to almost every inch of our planet, we focus our greatest minds on the invention of useless goods. Instead of pooling these genius minds collective efforts together to solve problems, we design tables. Here is the latest in post modern table fashion.
This dinner table is for the ultra-modern geek who has trouble with analog clocks. Not only is the sleek polished aluminum a must-have, it features a full face LED clock. I just wonder why it only features the time, and no equalizer or vector shapes. The table can also be used as an alarm clock in case your iPhone, iPod, TV, DVD player, phone, alarm clock and bookshelf somehow all break.
Sleek? Yes. Cool? Sure. Modern? Yes... 30 years ago. This table was not only designed to hold your microwave dinner, but features a track pad and over 2000 LED lights so you can play Pong and ignore your wife or husband. The novelty factor behind it is great - it might even fit in at Google's office break room.
If the fifteen guitars you have hanging on your wall aren't enough to remind friends and tell strangers that you play guitar, maybe this Fender Stratocaster Head Stock table will. Its odd, cumbersome, bulky shape will fit in the most impractical of practice space.
There's times when you think: Maybe a horse owner would like something like that. This isn't the case. Not a horse owner. Not a bar owner. No one. The sleek, lacquered Formica look died quite a while ago. But if comfort, aesthetics, practicality, color, portability and shininess aren't a factor, this is the table for you!
Maybe a new mini series is in the works? Alien Table vs Predator Table. I predict a horrible flop. Actually Hollywood, let's stop the remakes. In fact, I give you my personal word that this table will not sell. It should be placed right back on that palette, loaded back into that truck and driven straight off a cliff.
No Asian-inspired room is complete without its very own hunched over Sumo Wrestler side table. After a long day of work, seeing an oddly positioned Sumo with bamboo and tea on his back will surely soothe your working pains.
The Microsoft Surface Table costs $10,000, does what other computers do, has a giant touchable surface very similar to the iPhone, and takes up a ton of room. Why anyone would need this other than as a novelty is beyond me. Not having a QWERTY keyboard is acceptable with your handheld device, but doesn't fly with your home computer. Bypass your iPhone's portability and go for Microsoft's Table Computer that does everything your iPhone can, minus fitting in your pocket.
The Aquarium Table is much more popular than its precursor, the toaster table. Practicality? Having to change your table's water, lights, rocks, algae, filter, motor, dead fish, and salt will surely get old. Especially having to clear off all the junk you had on top and moving a large piece of glass daily to feed the fish. At least it looks cool.
Card house...? Pfft! A card table is much more practical. You never have to worry about it falling over or about the cards bending. You can eat right off the king of spades' face. Is the table a subconscious hint as to where males or females should sit at the table? Nevertheless, I would assume this piece of Art Deco post-modernism is priced somewhere in the thousands, and wouldn't even look good holding up the hokiest of hokey casino buffets.
This is a Daft Punk Table. Yes, Daft Punk. It syncs up to their popular song "Around The World" and is the perfect addition to any electronic music fan's living room. When not on, the giant black square sitting in the middle of your room will create great feng shui sitting next to your electronic Pong table.
Some tables are both functional and aesthetically appealing. These tables, I'm afraid, are so impractical that no one will ever pull up a chair.
Awesome article. Love the tables. Well done looking to reading more of your articles so keep them coming.
#2 by Lauren Axelrod, Aug 14, 2008
I love the pictures. Don't worry about the negatives that may come along with trolls that may stumble bye once in a while. If they wanted their point to be known, they would not hide behind a fake name.
Great Research
#3 by Kiki Stamatiou, Aug 15, 2008
I found your article to be unique. It captured my interest. I also loved the pictures. I like your writing style and the way you word things. I learned alot about tables and things I never thought about before. Thank you so much. I too have writings published on the Triond website, under my pen name Joanna Maharis, which is also my user name.
Take Care,
Kiki Stamatiou
#4 by keyboardologist, Aug 16, 2008
I like the Fender guitar headstock table. Great article.
#5 by Karen N, Aug 16, 2008
I really liked the aquarium table, but you're right it would be way too much work to mantain.
#6 by thestickman, Aug 16, 2008
Gosh-awful-looking tables, -one & all! (But great story!)
#7 by desmonrock21, Aug 17, 2008
cool! I want the predator table.
#8 by nobert soloria bermosa, Aug 18, 2008
hey, unique collection of tables, thanks
#9 by not a fanboy, Aug 18, 2008
"The Microsoft Surface Table costs $10,000, does what other computers do, has a giant touchable surface very similar to the iPhone, and takes up a ton of room. Why anyone would need this other than as a novelty is beyond me. Not having a QWERTY keyboard is acceptable with your handheld device, but doesn't fly with your home computer. Bypass your iPhone's portability and go for Microsoft's Table Computer that does everything your iPhone can, minus fitting in your pocket."
You should read up on Surface before thoughtlessly bashing it since it has many many practical applications - mostly for commercial businesses and maybe for consumers as well. The iPhone is a great product (buying one soon) that is amazing for its intended use but people need to stop pretending that the iPhone brought touchscreen into the world - every time I make a credit/debit transaction I use a "touchscreen."
Frankly there are many things Surface can do that the iPhone cannot (access to electronic and magnetic strip data remotely, greater multitouch capability, everything a PC can do that an iPhone cannot, etc.) and the iPhone has functionality that a PC will never have.
#10 by dawn haynes-grimes, Aug 19, 2008
i loved this article. those tables are crazy and interesting.
#11 by s hayes, Aug 19, 2008
Top article
#12 by Nedaa, Aug 21, 2008
i adored the predator table! that is so wicked awesome lol... the touchscreen one is cool but the price tag is ... OUCH to say the least lol... great article..
https://www.triond.com/users/Nedaa
#13 by Jess, Aug 21, 2008
Wow. how do the fish stay alive in that thing?
#14 by tweetysmart, Aug 21, 2008
Heyz!Thank you a lot for showing us these super emazing tables! God Bless you
