How To Turn Relationships Into Potential Financial Gains

“Don't burn your bridges,” someone once told me. It's a familiar phrase that most everyone has heard, but not everyone heeds. I've damaged many bridges in my life. But I don't think I've ever burned any (none too badly, at least). It's difficult to choose what to say or do in a moment faced with adversity. Very often we neglect to see what the unintended consequences of our actions may be. We may feel good about getting something off our chests at the moment, and we may be well justified in doing it. It may even be a moment of personal growth when we can stand up and assert ourselves when we feel oppressed. But think about the timing and the rationale for your behavior. Holding back for the moment may come in handy in the future. Most importantly, consider the negative consequences that could result; think karma, if you will. I'm not advocating that you lay down and let people walk all over you, or that you become a professional punching bag. But that person who you told off yesterday could be the person who saves your life tomorrow.

Work To Be Genuine

Over the years, I have been blessed with many opportunities to meet with new people and establish various types of relationships with each of them. No matter how insignificant a meeting may have actually been, I'd like to think that I left those experiences on good terms; I hope that I left them with good first impressions of who I am. It takes a conscious effort from each of us to be aware of who we are in the moment. Others will notice this about you. You don't even have to say anything. The meta-communication style that each of us projects affects others. Have you ever heard someone say, “Yeah, I met that guy the other day, but there's something about him that I don't like.” That's meta-communication at work. No matter what you say, others will pick up on the nuances of your personality. You won't have to worry about this, however, if you're genuine in what you say and do.

The Value of Re-Connecting

In recent years, I've tried to re-connect and catch up with influential people in my life. Scouring the internet and my old contact numbers, I would attempt to get an update on these people's lives and share with them my own experiences since we last met. I can say that I've been mostly successful in at least letting some of these people know that I am still alive, doing well, and that I was thinking about them. People like to know that others have them on their mind, especially when it's in a positive light. And then there were some that I just couldn't get a hold of. But there is enough satisfaction in at least knowing I tried to maintain contact or re-connect that still leaves me feeling content with who I am. If you try this exercise of contacting people from the past, you might be pleasantly surprised with the results.

Re-establishing those bridges with the past can be a useful gauge of personal growth. For instance, I was reading an email that I got the other day from a classmate of mine when I was in nursing school. I hadn't had any contact with this person since before we graduated. But the re-connection brought up memories of what I was like back then. I was just learning how to look at the world differently and starting to take action to change my life. After reading the email, I can see how far I've come, how much I've grown, and how much more I have. That's the beauty of maintaining bridges. Not just for the social interaction or the fulfillment of interpersonal needs. Those are important and certainly add to personal growth. However, it's the opportunity for self-reflection, introspection, self-monitoring of progress, and motivation to keep reaching your goals that are just as important in personal and financial development. These aspects often go unnoticed, unfortunately.

Financial Benefit

But if it is your goal to achieve a level of wealth or affluence, then maintaining relationships (as well as creating new ones) does have some advantages. For instance, former schoolmates of mine are now lawyers, accountants, or hold upper management positions at big companies. I can tap into those resources to form business venture partnerships with some, or look to others for information and advice. Because our relationships started off well in the beginning, and have been maintained (even a single email every few months may be adequate) I feel comfortable moving forward with my personal life goals; I know that I have support, in one form or another, and that allows me to keep myself in a mindset that is productive in nature. That is key to developing a life where you can, for example, make money in your sleep . It's the mindset and perception of where you are and what you have for resources that motivates and nurtures you into being successful and feeling free. There is a mental safety net that you develop because of your intentional effort to maintain good relationships. That's a good thing.

So give it a try. Call up some people you haven't spoken to in years. Drop them an email and find out how they are doing and what they're up to. Let them know that you are alive and were thinking about them. Be genuine with your words, and take the time to tend to those roots that need nurturing or repair those bridges that may have been damaged long ago. These actions could benefit you with financial rewards. It may not turn out as you had hoped, but then again many things in life are not guaranteed (successful relationships and money included). But at least they will know where you are or where you stand, and so will you.

The Writer is a retired psychotherapist, a registered nurse, and a budding entrepreneur.